Back in July I posted about the strange search terms that brought people to Wellywoman. They do make me laugh. So on this grotty, miserable, November day I thought I’d post about the ones I’ve had since, in an attempt to cheer myself up, if no one else. Oh and there are a few completely unseasonal photos along the way to hopefully bring some colour to the day.
It’s a weird mix which I suppose rather sums up the internet in all it’s glory. There are those clearly desperate for enlightenment on a particular topic. I often feel like I want to respond to them or learn a bit more about them. It’s a little like people watching at an airport when I wonder where the people around me are going to, who they’ll be meeting and why. The ‘my lawn is boggy and faces north’ really should be advised to give up the lawn unless he or she wants to cultivate moss. The especially simplistic ‘tree with red fruit’ says to me not a gardener. Possibly someone who has moved into a house with a tree in the garden that has red fruit on it and has no other points of reference other than the obvious. They may be some time in their attempts to discover what their tree actually is with such little information at hand. My sympathies go out to ‘itching like ants crawling’ although I’m relieved they didn’t add where they were itching. I doubt very much they found any solace from my blog.
There are the nosey, searching for ‘where does Carol Klein go on holiday?’ and ‘how tall is Carol Klein?’. Why would you want to know how tall Carol is?
‘Why is Alan Titchmarsh boring?’ did make me chuckle, although it is rather mean and really what did they hope to find? Did they really think they would find an answer?
The fascination with Monty Don’s clothes continues although it seems to have moved away from his shirts to his footwear. After my last ‘Mind Boggles’ post Danielle from Tasmania left a comment to say she had actually found my blog whilst searching for what type of shirt Monty wears. It has been fascinating to read about her gardening on the other side of the world and to think it was Monty’s shirts that introduced us.
The welly fetish searches continue with a particular interest out there apparently in welly aroma. ‘Forced to smell her wellies’, ‘I love the smell of sweaty wellies’ and ‘who likes sniffing their wellies?’ are all rather disturbing but I think it is the strange random search terms that puzzle me the most.
‘A knight and lady went riding one day in forest’. . . sounds like the start to some Arthurian tale. Or how about the long-winded and grammatically dodgy ‘what is the French for excuse me madam whereabouts are your shopping trolleys at’?
My favourite has to be though ‘how do I get rid of slug slime which has dried on my cat?’ That sounds like one lazy cat for a slug to be able to climb on board and leave behind it’s slimy residue. I’m not even sure I’ve ever met a cat that would be happy to share its fur with a slug. And aren’t they always preening themselves? Does make you wonder whether the cat was actually still alive?
And finally, this was actually gleaned from my spam box. Normally nothing there is worth bothering with. It’s either incomprehensible gobbledygook or if it isn’t, you wish it was, then you wouldn’t be subjected to the unsavoury elements of the internet. But this I thought was a gem. No idea whether it was a genuine compliment and things just got a bit lost in translation or whether they thought it was a cunning way to ensnare me. And so, I leave you with, ‘an excellent site . . . I am sending it to a few pals sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks in your sweat!’