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A while ago now I read a very funny post, ‘Anxious Hog’, by David at The Anxious Gardener. He had been keeping a note of some of the strange and funny search terms that people had used and, by doing so, had ended up at his blog. The statistics page is a fascinating element of writing a blog. Something I had never given any thought to when I first started writing Wellywoman. It’s intriguing to see people from far flung parts of the globe such as Pakistan, Burma and Mongolia visiting my blog. I have no idea what has brought them here, does my name confuse, if not,  I’m sure my ramblings do!

After reading David’s post I noted down a few of the more unusual search terms that came up on my own blog but then I got distracted and a million and one other things got my attention instead. That is, until the other day. A quick glance at the search terms for Monday revealed someone had come to my site using the search words ‘alan titchmarsh crotch’. Well I have to say it did make me giggle. In fact, I’m smiling now. I happen to have mentioned Mr T’s name a few times in my posts and I did write about having a hole in the crotch of my jeans when talking about the scruffy attire I can be found in when gardening. However, I don’t think I want to know why someone was specifically searching for more info on the gardening guru’s groin.


Anyway, it was my lunch break and, rather than do something useful like sorting through a pile of paperwork, I started to go through all the search terms wordpress had stored for my blog. And what an intriguing world it opened up. When I was trying to come up with a name for my blog I really didn’t give any thought to those out there with a welly fetish. It never crossed my mind, why should it? Very early on the search term ‘I’m turned on by wellies’ appeared, much to my surprise and concern. I did worry that Wellywoman had been a bad choice and I was going to attract the wrong sort of attention. Fortunately, those worries haven’t materialised. It’s quite amusing to think though, that there are some seriously disappointed people  out there, who have no doubt thought my site will offer all sorts of titillation and instead it’s me writing about my seeds not germinating and marauding slugs. There seems a particular interest to see ‘women in muddy wellies’, note the ‘muddy’ element. Well, each to their own. There have also been various searches for a selection of female gardeners, who shall remain nameless, posing topless. The page 3 gardener or lads mag equivalent of Gardens Illustrated are concepts, as yet, untried. Clearly a disappointment for some.

I was particularly fascinated by the person who felt the need to search for ‘should postmen cut across peoples gardens instead of using paths’. My imagination suggests someone seething every morning when their mail is dropped off by their garden philistine of a postie. I’m not sure what they were looking for, some piece of legislation that they could threaten he, or she with, maybe.

There was the plaintive ‘why have I got so many slugs in my garden’. It conjures up a picture of someone at the end of their tether, feeling as if they must be being punished for something in a previous life to have been subjected to plague-like proportions of slugs. I just want to give this person a virtual hug and say it’s not just you.

In one post I wrote about leaf mould being like a duvet and in another a passing mention was made to Prince Charles, who’d have thought there would be someone out there who would then come through to my blog searching for ‘prince charles doesn’t like duvets’! Why, why why?


I’m not sure whether ‘wellies in bed’ and the cryptic ‘wifes wellies filling’ are touching on the unseemly again. I’m guessing so.

And finally, my misspent lunch-break uncovered a particular fascination with Monty Don’s attire. I did write a post entitled ‘Gardening Attire’ in which I mentioned Monty and his signature blue uniform which he wears whilst gardening. Well it seems, if my blog is anything to go by, that Monty clothes generate a lot of interest, with search terms including ‘monty don smock’, ‘monty don’s blue shirt’, ‘shirts worn by monty don’, ‘monty don clothing’ and ‘where does monty get his clothes’. Maybe Monty is missing a trick. His own clothing range for gardeners, perhaps?

So, I just want to say thanks to David at The Anxious Gardener for his initial post on the subject and for a diverting way to spend a lunchtime. If you don’t already follow his blog, take a look, for witticisms, garden and wildlife related musings and ace photos.